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Lobster: The poor man’s chicken

As of yesterday, fishermen off the southwest coast of Nova Scotia (where lobster is currently in season) were getting $2.25 CAN per pound. That’s insanely cheap… and worrisome to many a fisher out there. Know who it doesn’t really worry? Me. For me, it just means lots of potential for delicious lobster.

Now, it’s not as cheap in Toronto (note: speculation. I’m too lazy to go to a grocery store with a lobster tank.), but that doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from the cheaper-than-chicken status of lobster (note #2: the weight of lobster includes like… the whole thing, not just the meat you’re going to eat. So you have to factor in all the other junk… but again, too lazy to know what kind of ratio we’re talking there.) So what should you do with this delicious lobster?

Well, you could eat it in any number of classy ways: whole–hot or cold; grilled, thermador… and who knows what else. I sure don’t. Red Lobster, I’m sure, could give you all sorts of ideas, but frankly, I don’t recommend any of them (Red Lobster is pretty gross). What I do recommend is: the lobster roll. This summer, Bostonist did a great series on lobster rolls around the city. Lobster rolls are definitely far more easily available in summer, and in coastal areas. If you’re looking for a lobster roll in Toronto, apparently the Four Seasons is the way to go, but that’ll run you $26, if I remember correctly. What do you do if you can’t get your hands on a lobster roll? MAKE ONE! It’s easy. Bostonist can teach you how with their DIY lobster roll… probably way more delicious than the one I made (pictured. Note #3: I made this at 4:30am one morning on my way to the airport, so don’t judge too harshly. And don’t judge just because it wasn’t on a roll.)

That’s right: I’m recommending that you clean every bit of meat you can out of that lobster shell, and instead of enjoying its juicy deliciousness as is, tear it up into some pieces, mash it up with mayo, and throw it on a hot dog bun (preferably a real hot dog bun, if you can find it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re not from the Maritimes/New England.) And I’m recommending you do it now, while the economy is in the dumps and lobster is cheap… it’s the perfect time to experiment with lobster! DO IT! And be sure to read through the whole Bostonist Lobster Rollover series so that your lobster roll is the best it can be.

Now: one thing Bostonist FAILED, and i do mean FAILED to do was review the king of the mass-produced lobster roll industry, and yes, I do mean the McLobster. WTF guys? Seriously. The thing about it is… it’s not horrible. Of all the things you could chow down on from McDonald’s, this is the one that most closely ressembles real food. They’re only available at McDonald’s in certain regions and certain seasons (i.e. the Maritimes and likely New England in the summertime), so you’re all basically out of luck right now, but they’re worth a try. A bit skimpy on the lobster, perhaps, and most definitely not buttery at all. But unlike most things at McDick’s, they taste fresh (ish) and kind of like they would if you ate them anywhere else. AND AND AND… when I ordered mine there were also some pies expiring, so I got a free expired pie. I can’t guarantee you’ll have the same luck, but no one eats those pies (they’re pretty disgusting), so the chances are good.

That is all. Well, not quite all–the bit about me not worrying about low lobster prices was a tiny bit of a lie.

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