Oddly Comforting: Concoction

January 15, 2009 · Posted in Oddly Comforting · 5 Comments 

What could the four ingredients pictured above possibly combine to create? Only the most ghetto fabulous comfort food ever.

Now, I’m not sure exactly how far back this recipe goes, but I’m going to have to say that it must be connected to Jesus or perhaps some kind of saint, because what emerges when you combine cabbage, tuna, potato chips, mayo, and a secret ingredient (a tiny bit of onion) can only be described as heavenly. Or Concoction ™.

Just joking… kind of. I grew up on this stuff. My grandmother used to make it all the time. It’s delicious. But convincing anyone else to eat it has been problematic. Which leads me to this new column on TunaCupcake.com–Oddly Comforting. You send along your recipes for the weird comfort foods/concoctions you grew up with, and I’ll make them. Your part of the bargain: make mine (and the others we post over time) and tell us what you think. So first up… Read more

Weird Drinks: Spring Valley Smart Energy Blood Orange & Chilli

January 12, 2009 · Posted in Weird Drinks · 11 Comments 

What’s more disconcerting than an energy drink flavoured like blood oranges and chillies? A blood orange and chilli flavoured energy drink that doesn’t actually have chillies in it. Spring Valley has a new line of “Smart Energy” drinks featuring such a flavour (so new, they aren’t even on their website yet. That, or they’re just lazy).

As a fan of chili chocolate, I was pretty excited to try this drink. Chillies create a warm, friendly burning in your mouth. This, however, causes scary chemical burn in your throat that is probably not unlike battery acid, or self induced acid reflux. It’s a more palatable, more fruity version of the worst energy drink I’ve ever had - Cocaine, which is more like a pepper spray-based drink than an alternative to street drugs. It was so vile that I couldn’t have more than one sip.

The artificial chilli flavour of this Smart Energy drink makes me suspect that they came across it by mistake, and decided to turn a flaw into a feature. “Oh, it’s crap, this is supposed to taste like orange, but it makes my throat burn!” “Just say its chilli flavoured! The kids will go crazy for it!” Or maybe, as my friend suggested, it’s just a guise to get rid of some gross chemical that was taking up room in the Spring Valley factory.

There is one plus side to this drink. Even though there are no actual chillies in the Blood Orange & Chilli drink, it does contain yerba mate, a plant popular in South America, where it is prepared like tea and often served instead of coffee. It’s more potent than coffee but makes you less jittery. Perhaps this is why the drink produces a nice buzz, despite its not so great taste.

But I can’t help but notice that the other supposed flavour is not just orange, but blood orange. Perhaps it’s a subtle suggestion of what will happen to your throat of you drink too much.