Weird Drinks: Spring Valley Smart Energy Blood Orange & Chilli
What’s more disconcerting than an energy drink flavoured like blood oranges and chillies? A blood orange and chilli flavoured energy drink that doesn’t actually have chillies in it. Spring Valley has a new line of “Smart Energy” drinks featuring such a flavour (so new, they aren’t even on their website yet. That, or they’re just lazy).
As a fan of chili chocolate, I was pretty excited to try this drink. Chillies create a warm, friendly burning in your mouth. This, however, causes scary chemical burn in your throat that is probably not unlike battery acid, or self induced acid reflux. It’s a more palatable, more fruity version of the worst energy drink I’ve ever had - Cocaine, which is more like a pepper spray-based drink than an alternative to street drugs. It was so vile that I couldn’t have more than one sip.
The artificial chilli flavour of this Smart Energy drink makes me suspect that they came across it by mistake, and decided to turn a flaw into a feature. “Oh, it’s crap, this is supposed to taste like orange, but it makes my throat burn!” “Just say its chilli flavoured! The kids will go crazy for it!” Or maybe, as my friend suggested, it’s just a guise to get rid of some gross chemical that was taking up room in the Spring Valley factory.
There is one plus side to this drink. Even though there are no actual chillies in the Blood Orange & Chilli drink, it does contain yerba mate, a plant popular in South America, where it is prepared like tea and often served instead of coffee. It’s more potent than coffee but makes you less jittery. Perhaps this is why the drink produces a nice buzz, despite its not so great taste.
But I can’t help but notice that the other supposed flavour is not just orange, but blood orange. Perhaps it’s a subtle suggestion of what will happen to your throat of you drink too much.
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